Up Close & Too Personal

So you've stumbled onto my blog. You perv. I like you already! ;-)
To know me is to...well, know me.

You know that nice lady that lives on your street with the pie cooling on her windowsill? That's not me. Not even close. I don't live on anybody's street--they live on mine. As for the pie? I'm too busy running ragged after my 3 kids, dog and my sanity to eat let alone back a pie everyone is too busy to eat in the first place.

Ya see, life is a just a little crazy right now and while I would love nothing more than to run down the halls at work or yell at the top of my lungs at the local Walmart ranting to anyone that doesn't really care, it just isn't the right thing to do. So, I might as well do the techy thing and blab to the whole net to anyone who cares to hear what I have to say without scaring the little old lady at Walmart who's just trying to get her denture cream.

So...what's up with the crazy gal from Walmart anyways? Well, for starters I'm going through the big D and I don't mean Dallas. While that isn't anything overly newsworthy, it is a strange one to say the least. Got time for a story? Tough...here it comes anyway. This is where I would normally start ranting at Walmart but I figure I need toilet paper once in a while so I figured being banned wouldn't be such a good idear.

I'm ending a relationship 18 years in the making. One I've been in since I was 17. So I made it with him one year longer than I was alive when I met him. Awwww...ain't that sweet? Not really.

My FIRST clue to go awol should have been when after 4.5 years of dating he finally decided he wanted to take that "big step" into the institution of marriage. His way of doing it? He took me downtown on a Wednesday night when none of the stores are even open. We park the car and when I asked him "what" we are doing he replies, "I want to see this rock you think you got to have". Romantic isn't he? This is where I should have gotten in the car and drove to anywhere but there.

Now stores were open the next night and did we go downtown? Nooooo. Cuz his bos was taking the boys out to eat and he couldn't miss out on a free steak and beer from his cheap boss. So we finally go to the city like 10 days later, no proposal, no mention of the big step we were taking...nothing. We spend a Saturday shopping, pick out a nice ring and the clerk puts it in a box in a bag and I walk out of the store. This is where I didn't know quite what to do. I'm standindg in the middle of a big shopping mall, holding my engagement ring in a bag. Do I take it as mine and put it on? Do I wait for a big moment involving a knee? Does he want to talk to my dad?? Finally he says....

"Well you gonna put it on?"

I told you he was romantic. ;-)

That night we went out with our best friends to a local bar. He couldn't even tell anyone about it or say the "e" word. He would simply hold up my hand and show them my hand. He must have thought I had really nice hands or something.

So...the years go on. We have 3 great kids. Mr. Romantic is doing his thing....or not doing I should say. I plug along giving up on all those silly things I wanted like romance, weekend getaways, going to movies....him talking to me about anything. Until I woke up and said "Heck with this crap".

So I filed, you know, cuz I have to do EVERYTHING in the relationship. He is still living with me as we have agreed to be "friends". THAT was a great idea. Now he's my teenage son that I do his laundry, he eats my food and talks on the phone 2 hours a night to his girlfriend.

Ooooops...did I say GIRLFRIEND?

Yeah, 10 days after I filed he tells me that he understands we never talked. He then tells me how he emailed a girl I used to work with and has remained a friend to me. And that THEY talk all the time.

So a week later I was away with one of our daughters. He had a first date...aka 2 night sleepover as if ALL first dates are that way. Two weeks later we tell the kids about the divorce. The next week he takes them to her house for supper. Yes folks...he's nuts. I wonder if they sit in silence all night and then he finallys woos her with "Wanna scrog?" to get her in the mood??? It must work, within a month he was professing love to her.

I'm taking bets that he will get divorced in the morning and married in the afternoon? Oh wait, he told me 2 hours before my water broke that he'd never get married again. You know, cuz that is what ALL 9 mo preggers women want to hear!

Lucky for him I have a sense of humor and I'm so happy to be done with him it doesn't really matter WHAT he does. If he wants to repeat history I wish the caveman all the luck in the world.

This gal is going to yell it like it is and hope for the best. Here's to the journey!

This blog was brought to you by Walmart, where everyone goes to shop in crowded aisles, have crappy samples and hear screaming kids because their dumb parents brought them by the toys.